CT, SMS and Him...

One year ago, I met Mr. Somebody in an SMS clan so as much to say I am very amused of his being, he's smart, cool, fun to txt with so on and so forth. He's been many favorite clanmate since then with those fantastic mingling even just in the txtline. I know how his gender is classified yet its nothing, I thought he was just the usual of what might be seen among that type. Having been a fan of Mr. CT, a very perfect like basketball player/celebrity, I've seen how much he adores him more than I do. It's an encounter I never imagined and thought of, all my boring life.

(TO BE CONTINUED)

NAMELESS

NAMELESS

By: Flordeliz A. Fullo, RN


Precious one, beloved one
Where are you only one?
Distant you may have been
Waiting, I want you to be seen

Those countless nights I included you in my dreams,
Those days my mind was stagnant like streams;
Dear one, could I still touch you?
Dark as the night, could I still see you?

I am standing here, I am just here;
Those intricate nothings that may seem unclear,
Those inexplicable barriers lost the sheer;
Precious one, all I wish is you to be near.

I could feel the storm deep within;
I could feel the coldness of the snow freezing;
I could feel the thorns of those roses stinging;
I could fell the heat of the sun burning.

The thick invisible line that divides me to you;
The sees that might drown me when I dare touch you;
The fire that could burn me when I would touch you;
The perishing and striving heart can't get through.

Time made the iron be rusted;
Time made the leaves fall;
Time of bliss that had lasted,
Time of change for all.

Precious, as what you have been, your shine struck me.
You're once like the sun, that warmed thee;
You're a jewel in shining chips of connection.
Your shine eluded me, thy presence inspired me.

The road to realization is over;
The way to imagination had ended.
The promising winds had gotten its way.
The collision of elements hurled.

If only clock would stop,
Then I would turn and whirled like a top.
Insane, how would I crop?
Myself, would I still dare slap?

Little did I know about you,
Little do I had you though,
Little things you made me learn to,
Little somethings as gigantic as you.

Do the mysteries could explain?
That somehow sun would stop and rise again.
Do the phenomenons could show?
Of how this aches in me happens somehow.

For those times when I admired you,
For those times that connected me to you,
For those times I feel loving you,
Those times would remain in me, I'll be treasuring though.

Those battles between me and myself,
Those stifling nights of feeling my chest collide,
My love, my heart was in a shelf,
Find your name, find me- I'm by your side.

In my dreams you're there,
There in my beating heart, you exist.
Somehow, my world, would you exist forever?
Meeting you, though vague is still in my list.

Can't deny the fact that maybe you're borrowed from God,
That anytime would vanish away, would be so sad.
Fear, I'm feeling so bad.
Though still haven't viewed you,
Meeting you in this life's journey made me glad.

---

conquer myself with GOD

We nevertheless didn't expect somethings in our lives. It might be bliss or pain and sometimes sudden clashes with our emotions. Fighting with our own ego means a lot because we have to give our best effort to protect ourselves from hurting and be guilty of whatever life may bring. However these surviving and fighting might be priced to tears, heartaches, insensibility, instability, despair or disappointment and we have to accept these life's game, we are what we made by ourselves not by destiny of fate but by that thing in our hearts that encourage us to go far and continue-GOD.

I've been writing with my past few blogs about despair, about being broken and disappointments. Lately I had came to thought about those stupidity and insanity-Its no useat all. Thinking that I am a very precious human being is not narcissisim at all, it's optimism and self esteem building. Why do I have to worry about those thins that doesnt matter anyways? Are they really significant in me? What's their worth at all? Why do I have to be the same when unconsciously I am agonizing and complaining? Do I have much better things to save my mind for thinking though? Whats the real sense at all? So many questions, so hard to answer. The fact that those are things that my ego always craves and tempted to get in are the ironic sense of my weaknesses.

God is always my guide. He is my strenght and with Him I could/would get through my intricasies and dilemmas in life and by His love, my love for those whom I loved is guided with His'.


----Flordeliz Fullo

WHAT ABOUT ME?

Well, after all I would say that my life is so lifeless, powerless and motionless and I hate it. "Floree, what have been keeping you busy?" my cold answer : "bumming around! huhu". There's so many things that I planned for myself after graduation. Where am I? Still, being unemployed makes me feel that I'm useless. I'm also lonely by having lesser and lesser social life, financial matters makes me sick. Lovelife? how about? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!! I would just sigh for that.


I'm just praying that my life would take into a deeper action by this year, immobility makes me weaker and weaker. I just hope that I would find a job suited for my profession, it had taken a lot of money, time and effort just to be an RN!!! and maintain it.... I'm just sad....

May GOD continue to make me stronger and better each day I face those dilemmas. (social, physical, mental, emotional).

SMS Acquaintace....so.....uhmm....

Technology nowadays connects us to many different people...I just cant figure out I have to feel such emphaty and compassion to a person that i never met personally....everyday txting made an impact.... knowing lives and feeling cozy txting him....hehe...fun....that weirdness is inexplicable and bizaare...uhm im not saying that its irrational but i just cant figure out why....so ambigous to say....i just wanna meet that person someday and exchange that weirdness i have with this....it would be a colision i think....May GOD BLESS HIM ALWAYS...HOPING HE'LL NOT CHANGE...Being in a Clan is cozy with him....hehehe! :)

My Board Examination Experience...♥

Badtrip nasira yung memory caed reader ko kaya ito nagblog nalang ako...well, ayun nga...ang hirap ng exam...it was a big surprise....maraming tanong na wala sa prediction at hind inaasahang lumabas....well, ayus lang.....hindi ko alalm kung babagsak ako or wat pero at least ive done my best....Disaster din ksi mali mali yung shade ko dun sa name ko....natuluan pa ng pawis yung paper pero super liit naman...naku si God nalang talgah ang bahalang mag check ng papel ko...sana maka TOP ako khit 6th lang..ahahaha...joke! ambisyosa lang talagah...hehehe...pero khit bumagsak ako ok lang....i have nothing againts the will of God...♥♥♥... xa nah ang bahala sa lahat...hehehe...TO GOD BE THE GLORY...Para sa kanya ang exam ko kaya xa lang ang nakakaalam kung anong gusto nyang gawin sa resulta...hehehe....

Far Away and Away Forever!!!

Youre so far away. Khit imposible pinagpray ko na bago or sa grad eh maging kaibigan kita, ayon di naman nangyari...hanep!!! shunga tlagah si Floree..i wish na sana tinaboy mo nalang ako verbally kesa nagwowowok out ka sa campus everytym youre seeing me...huwaw! ANG GWAPO mo...hehehe..bakit kaya ako nahurt eh wlang kwenta at basura lang ang tingin mo saken...bkit ngtxt pako sayo ng sorry at congratz nung before and during grad...Grabe, minsan tinatanong ko kay Lord bkit ka naging ganun sa akin....bkit nagustuhan pa kita...im not hoping for you to love me, dibat consistent naman ako na gusto talagah kita maging friend...pero ayun, crying lady ako in the end....para sakin napaka amazing mo at ewan ko kung bkit ako curious makilala ka...well, ewan ko ba...siguro na hit ng todo yung ego ko nung nireject mo ako...sori sa term pero yun ang na feel ko...sa bawat txt ko sau na wlang response i feel guilt..guilty kasi bkit ko pa yun gnawa...bkit pa kta iniisip...bkit naghohope ako na someday well be friends....God has a reason nga for everything diba..hindi ko maintindihan kung bkit ako kailangang ma hurt lang ng stranger na tulad mo....IM NOT A STALKER dhil di ako patago mag show ng acts ko....at ng thoughts ko...it puzzles me more tlgah if anong merong MALI saken...alam ko mabuti ka namang tao....pero yun nga lang...♥ huwaw!! grabeh tlgah... everytime im hurt by this stupid feeling c God nalng lagi ko tntawag...buti at anjan sa lagi....ang shunga ko...pero kung nasan ka man...hinding hindi po ako nakakaramdam ng sama ng loob or what..ksi wla ka namang gnwa in fact YOU DONT EVEN KNOW ME.... this is the CRAZIEST thing ive done in myself...Kung ano man tlgah ang pananaw mo sakin bahala na c Lord....binibigay ko na kay God ang buo kong PUSO....Dhil hindi ito karapat dapat sa isang stranger like you...pero sana mbgay ko na ng fully tlgah sa Kanya..well hoping that will happen soon!!! GOD BLESS AND TAKE CARE!!!